When I was a kid, I never thought that one day the summer vacations would become such a complication. Well, it was a long time ago. Now, I am an educator. Things are reversed. But vacation is a time when both, the teachers and the students are supposed to be joyful and delighted. I wonder what is wrong with me! Why am I not feeling that joy, that ecstatic feeling people have when they can stay late in their beds, they can enjoy their meals whenever they like, have some time to serve their hobbies and interests, the personal grooming sessions etc. I feel my case is opposite to the usual. I am not enjoying my vacations!
I really feel the urge to go back to my work. I have been loving it so much that now I feel bored and dull and idle and lazy and what not! Got it..lethargic is the word. I don’t know why I can’t feel the same elation and essence or the true substance of holidays like others even when it feels almost unbearable to go out in the heat of the scorching Sun. The thing I want so badly since the vacations have arrived is my work. It’s true that people enjoy work , being active and all that but they still want a vacation. And a vacation as long as a school vacation is always a dream for them and do not enjoying it seems absurd and foolish. People in general hate Mondays, but I love the Mondays, for they inspire me to wake up and get ready for something new. And that makes me wonder, is it just me who do not want to sit at home, read novels, have cups of ice cream, prepare for something upcoming, meet their relatives and friends, plan a picnic or anything like that??
I feel like a stupid. Why can’t I just go and enjoy this free time by watching movies, a bunch of t.v series (lists are overwhelming my mind), prepare for my upcoming exam or read my half-read novels and books. Why I want the same teaching work to keep me as active as I feel on my regular working day. It’s like there is no enthusiasm, no challenge in my everyday life. This feeling is terrific.
I wish I could at least take some tuitions, for they would have given me some sort of real activity or at least some peace of mind. Although, there is something which excites me for a minute or two. Likewise normal people, I have also planned a trip and not only planned but also paid to meet my cousins and relatives and not only that, we all are planning to go and travel some exciting part of south India. But, it is still one week away. So, yes for now I am highly BORED!
I am reading novels, doing regular exercise, cooking and trying new recipes, writing posts on my blog, looking for new experiences, talking with my friends, updating my online profiles but all of this is no help because I do these regularly in my working days also. The things I am missing the most are teaching, answering the queries of my students, explaining concepts to them again and again, asking kids to stay silent for like million of times( yeah.. kids can be a real headache sometimes), participating in the creative events of school, the correction work (sounds boring??? but I love it), eavesdropping to the staff-room gossips(*giggling*), getting ready early in the morning and driving to school, that wonderful feeling of being alive.
I envy those people who have office almost the whole year and only have a limited time of holidays in their jobs. I wish I could have this option of working from home or something like a part-time job. I know, I am sounding like a fool or some desperate rookie but that is how it is…I am dying to go back to work and I can’t help it.
I know this post is more like a blab and not the one I am supposed to write here, but again I can’t help it. I wanted a place where I can confide the thoughts I am having right now and this seemed a good choice to me. So bear with me and don’t if you don’t want to. You are free to walk away. 😛
It doesn’t mean that I don’t need even a day off from work and I love working till the point of exhaustion or so. Certainly all of us need vacations to take rest and do our pending personal tasks and undoubtedly I am also one of them. I also have a long to-do list but still I want this vacation to be shortened. Anyway, the only thought that is putting some sort of life and excitement in me these days is my upcoming trip and the thought of traveling solo in train ..he he ( yes this would be my first time). If all goes well, will write a post about that when I will be back. Till then…Tada..;)