Ethereal

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When the shimmering beams of sunlight,

Traces its way down,

To the vicinity of their world,

Lightens up her face with the morning beauty,

She curls up in his arms,

To hide an unexpected disturbance.

 

To her wonder,

He holds her in a curious warm embrace,

Like a kid,

Holding on his favourite toy,

As if to allow no one,

To take her away even in those unconscious moments.

 

Giving away her chastity,

She hasn’t lost but gained a world she had never dreamed before.

A world where,

He stays, she lives.

A place where,

He says, she materializes.

A room where,

He orders, she pursues.

A time when,

He departs, she cries.

An abode where,

He loves, she worships.

 

The moment when she gazed at herself in the mirror,

She discovers how his touch has glistened every bit of her.

How his care has adorned her existence,

How his ethereal love has enamoured her disposition.

At this juncture,

She cannot help but smile,

And thank the lord,

To embed a gem forever in her life.

 

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To Mother

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Dear mother,

Have never got a chance to see you, but this one is for you.

 

 

For the months,

You tended me inside you,

Safe, unhurt and sheltered,

For the times,

I unknowingly hit your womb,

I bow in front of you to hoist a burden like me.

 

 

There is a bond between a daughter and a mother,

Which for my life, I could not bring together.

Mother, till now I have never thought of you.

It’s the first time ever,

I’m truly craving for you to be here,

To hold my hand, to kiss my forehead, to wipe my tears,

Just like they do for all others.

 

So many things, Mom, I miss,

Your gentle hug and the tender kiss.

I can only imagine,

It must be an absolute bliss.

 

Wish you a Happy Mother’s Day

 

Lies we told…

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The lies we told
As if to behold
The moment which is spent
Not much is left
For us to repent.

Quite shiny it looks from outside
Gestures of these young lovers.
Hiding, are they?
Or just acting under cover.

Tracing the steps of love
Follows hatred to its door.
Perceived it to have died,
Causes the removal,
Of sentiments from the core.

Once together and entwined,
Heart ceases to live, to crave and to be satiated.
And that my friend,
Causes the love to be a liability.

Heritage Exhibition

Nowadays I’m teaching about Indian heritage in my History class. While describing the events, monuments, traditions and skills of olden times, I was thinking if I could give them a deep insight into the topic by going beyond the textbook.

One field trip to the museum would have helped but not much, one round of audio-visual clips would have triggered interest but not till the depth of the topic. There was a constant need to touch the things and feel it.

The thought struck me when we started discussing the skills of weaving and spinning. I was discussing different fabrics with them and then I realized how nice it would be if the students could actually touch the fabrics and realize the difference in each of them. After all, fabrics are meant to be touched and felt, not just discussed. This thought made me think what can be done for this by staying within the four walls of classroom and still exploring the beauty and glory of past. I wanted to surprise my students with something they didn’t expect their teacher would do on just another day.

Somebody once told me that we all should spend sometime thinking over the steps we want to take so that we’re able to deliver better.

Some words can get you started. I began to execute my plan. For me, it was a step ahead than the traditional. It was just a small effort for my children because they are special.

I collected different variety of fabrics, embroidery and thread work from different sources. Arranging them was a bit of task, but colleagues supported enough to get it done. A small exhibition displaying different fabrics, embroidery, other thread work, pictures and artefacts of ancient time with some encyclopedia were kept to enlighten them with something tangible and new. The heritage walk was followed by a feedback session in which I asked the students about what things they liked, what they remember and what changes they expect.

The outcome of the event is that now they look forward to the History class. There comes a time when being an educator we start over-preparing even for the not-so-important things, for we know someone is expecting more from us. The best thing about this Heritage walk is that the slow learners learnt few things out of it and I saw some new hands being raised in my History session which was a moment of proud for me as an educator.

A letter to Darry…

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There are days,

There is time,

When I need the blessings,

The blessings to climb.

It took a lifetime,

For me to know,

How it is to be a parent,

And may be not just a parent, but to be someone like you.

A parent who never gives upon you.

I feel like the lark,

That enjoys the freedom in day.

And an owl at midnight,

That cries under bedsheets today.

Gone are the days,

When the word Papa,

Was the solution of every squeak.

Gone are the days,

When holding your finger,

I could walk miles.

Dad, you are the shining star

I want to see everyday.

You are the medicine,

Of all my squeaks and strains.

Separation might have taken you away,

Your teachings will always find their way.

With love on this Father’s Day…Love you Papa!

Lessons Learnt

Living away from home has never been easy for anyone. We got to do a lot of adjustments and settlements here and there. In the end, we may or may not be satisfied, yet we get accustomed to the whole thing and make peace with it. Those who could not, give way to fear or defeat. After all, it’s the courage to continue that actually counts. This whole living-away experience gives us several things and in the end, we find ourselves mustering a bag full of memories of solitude and self-discovery. Luckily, mine has been a good one so far.

A sneak peek into the lessons learnt until now 😉

1. Family Members

No matter wherever we go on this planet, family members are the first ones who would make a huge difference when you choose to stay away. Their presence in life and around you does matter whether we realize or not. We usually don’t, until they’re gone for some reason. So, respect them, treat them with utmost importance and take care of them, for you may not realize their worth today, but someday you will.

2. Roommate- Immediate family

Lucky are the ones, those who have a good one to spend their time. If our roomie is kind and helpful, then our experience becomes an adorable one. Though, at times, difference in opinions may occur or ‘ the Ego’ might get hurt in conflicts. But all that becomes acceptable, if it is in moderation and do not cross the limits of decency or what we say healthy discussions. Always remember, when family is not there, he/she will give you the kind of mental and emotional support which only family gives and will make you think that you’re not alone in your hard times.

3.Do not overlook any skill

Sometimes we do not realize the value of few things, we tend to underrate them and keep longing for more. Longing for more is okay, but we should never underestimate a skill. In the long run, it can become a game-changer.

4. The do-it-alone strategy works

The first step is always the scariest one. It often acts as a big restraint in our endeavours. Trust me when I say, go for it and do not stop and take the charge of whole thing alone. Do not wait for people to accompany you in your troubles, because they may help you today, but they won’t forever. So, yeah take the lead, be the captain of your ship and victory will follow.

5. Distractions distract

There will be quite a few distractions around you. Things you crave for, things you don’t want anymore, people you are afraid to face and such. If you’re on a goal drive and are preventing yourself to come across any such situations, believe me, they will chase you like anything. Our will power becomes the saviour at such times.

6. The ‘You’ in you will surprise you

Yes, it is true. If you have dared to leave everything dear to you once aside and have considered the idea of staying alone to achieve something, then you are in for a surprise. The hidden ‘You’ inside you will appear in your hardships and will show that you can do it too.

7. Mental worries

Life is full of ups and downs, few mental imbalances, traumas, trials and tribulations, some great people and some terrible ones. Learn from your failures and do not give up. You might not be able to do it today, but perseverance is the key. Accept the decisions of destiny with grace. Be a little selfish and go on.

As is rightly said somewhere,

“You’ll have bad times, but it’ll always wake you up to the good stuff you were’nt paying attention to.”

8. In the end, you’re alone

You might be surrounded with family, friends, relations , love today, but a time will come when you will be left with none of them and that day you will be on your own. People will claim love, show care, behave nicely, support you, but one day they will leave you to deal with everything on your own. So, I think we all should live away and alone at least for once in a while. It gives you that feeling of how it is like to be on one’s own.

As the famous author says,

“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.”

9. It’s all about being happy

Happiness is overrated. Happiness has different definitions. It is not confined in few things. Anything can be a reason for anybody to be happy. For me, if I’m able to do my work perfectly, if I get good company and have a bunch of kind people around me, have a goal in my life to achieve, have a plan to implement, I’m happy. A thoughtless life and an aimless journey never gives you happiness.

10. Money matters

It is only after I started living on my own, I truly recognized the value of each penny I earn, each penny I spend, each penny I waste and each penny I save. Nobody likes to give away their hard-earned money to flow like foam. I learnt that earning is easy, the secret lies in saving it for future and making the righteous use of it. It is a skill must for everyone.

Into you….

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As long as I have known you ,

I have known love.

As much as I have seen you,

I have seen care.

As far as I have gone with you,

I have felt devotion.

As more as we have grown together,

I have learnt to be into you.

Words, phrases or anything the tongue spells,

Fails every attempt of telling the yearn,

I bear in my heart.

Time has this habit of being cruel all the time,

So, I wait, wait and wait.

As long as I remember thee,

I have never been lonely.

As long as we stick together,

Your heart is the only place to be.

Please do me a favour,

Kneeling down, I ask,

To make this one the last.

For love doesn’t need to be perfect,

It just needs to be true.

And for as long as I’m into you,

I dream to go through.

Let your kids stumble

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In my rookie year of teaching, I’m challenged with a bunch of slow learners, a few mentally and physically challenged ones  and some really distracting students all at once. This is a hell lot to take care of when you have just started living your dream. But this isn’t what gets on my nerves. As a matter of fact, I suppose these challenges  and work pressure would make me learn something concrete which I can use in my upcoming teaching career. I take it as a preparation for even harder future experiences. It tests my patience, forbearance, my level of understanding of educational psychology, child psychology, knowledge of my subjects, my behaviour with students, their parents and other staff members. And trust me, I only want to excel in this. I have no other option. I can’t let myself to be overwhelmed and carried away by anything.

In my expedition of learning how to teach and tackle kids mentioned above, it is not the kids who make me go mad, but their parents who are so overprotective of them. They have a hard time in accepting their child’s faults, inaccuracy and misdeed. Parents often fail to understand the fact that kids at elementary level need attention and time both from parents and teachers. Most of the time, it’s only the teachers, who are supposed to use a magical wand and make their ward learn every single thing in school without any attention being paid to them at home. They expect us to tackle them with utmost love and care, which is I agree we should, as long as things work that way. But, to be true and being in this profession now for a while, I can claim that some level of strictness and discipline is required to make them do things. Obviously, by saying that I do not mean to discourage them by shouting at them and creating an environment of terror in the classroom.

 

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Over-parenting To be frank, in my case individual difference is the reason which many a times makes me punish  them for not doing and listening to what they are asked to. Parents do not accept the shortcomings of their child. They do not allow them to stumble and to learn to problem-solve. The point they are missing here is that by doing this they are preventing their child to learn important lessons which they will later need in their adulthood. Parents guilty of over-parenting takes their child’s perception as truth, absolutely neglecting the facts. They would believe their child over the teacher and would go on criticizing the educator’s potential and school’s administration. What they do, is to deny the probability that their child was at fault or would even do something of that nature. This affects the independence of education poorly.

These are the kind of parents who worry a responsible and dedicated educator the most. They won’t let their child learn. They highly overlook and sometimes totally ignore the value of learning and understanding. They would curse the teachers for low grades and would choose to do not give a little bit of thought towards the problem. Teachers do not just teach course based concepts or fine motor skills; we teach to be organized, well-mannered, how to be responsible for your doings, how to handle victory and rejections, to be mentally prepared to handle challenges of upcoming life and the real world. And as we know, these things may not matter to them today, but, as the child would land his flight beyond those four walls, these are the things that are going to show their impact on him. This simple aspect is generally disregarded.

I’m not suggesting to have a blind faith in educators and let them do it their own way, no matter however that be. But, some amount of trust is needed. Efforts from parents and teachers, both is necessary. It’s vital that parents must know that making mistakes is important. No body learns to be perfect without being imperfect. They should learn to accept the failure of their child and should come forward to give a helping hand to teachers, so that the task becomes easy. It is more like a mutual thing.

 

BlameGame

 

Negative feedback It seems harsh and difficult to take on. I agree whether good, bad or neutral, feedback gives us a lot of thought to ponder upon and the tone in which it is sprinkled upon us have a huge impact on us. It might just ruin or made your day. Yet, it must be taken and welcomed open-handedly. It is difficult to accept our own or our child’s imperfections and incompetency. But to fail for a while is way more beneficial than to be an utter failure throughout the life. This is the most important thing parents and guardians should understand.

When a teacher gives negative feedback about your child, he doesn’t mean to disrespect you or sweep aside your ward’s credentials. He only cares about the future consequences of his wrong doings today. It is important that parents determine the usefulness of this temporary negative feedback. Teachers and parents, both should work together in turning the negative feedback into a positive one, only then we can expect any improvement in child’s potential.

 

 

To keep their kids from falling off side, they are micromanaging their lives, avoiding and fulminating against schools and institutions. This is not taking their child anywhere but permanent deterioration. I’m waiting for a day when an educator will be trusted and appreciated for his extra efforts to make a child better than before and to turn him into a more competent and responsible adult. Please allow your kids to fail, allow them to take independent steps and have some amount of faith in their teachers, who are working for the welfare of your child and their future.

 

 

 

 

 

Travelogue

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The alarm buzzed at five in the morning and without any attempt of delay my eyes were opened as if they were programmed for the upcoming schedule. After all, it was not just another day. I had a journey planned from my hometown to Jodhpur and from jodhpur to Bengaluru.

A journey which would help me to discover a new side of my own self. A rush of adrenaline and a sort of alacrity was forging me to hasten up things. At sharp 6:00 am, I picked up my luggage and headed towards the railway station. By the time I reached there, the clock struck 6:15 am, exactly the time of my train. I looked at the electronic display board and heard a treble mettalic sound announcing the details of scheduled trains. Mine was ready to arrive at platform number two. The platform was buzzing with sound of different kinds. The recurring railway announcements, the voice of the chai-wallas, the vendors, noise of people selling, talking, discussing, running to their destinations, trains’ whistling which were ready to proceed and many more sounds of such kind.

The place was full of people even early in the morning; there were travelers and visitors all around. It seemed like a world in itself; just like a microcosm of indian society. There were men, women, children and I was ready to set about for a journey of ten hours to Jodhpur. No one knew anyone, the only thing which connected us was this train and our expedition.

I was nervous inside not because I was travelling solo, but because I was anxious about the people I’m going to have a seat with. But I did not allow it to be reflected on my face, as my dad would have figured it out and might have taken me home cancelling all my further plans. It was a damn difficult task to finally convince him for this. Now, when I had, I didn’t want to ruin it.

And in the middle of all this, I saw my train approaching. I joined the rush of people as everybody hurried towards the coach. I boarded the train at 6:30 am and bid adieu to my father who was trying his best to hide his fear in his smile. But this was to be happened someday. I went inside looking for my seat and saw almost everyone inside the compartment was asleep. I checked my seat number and to my first disappointment, it was a side upper berth( I prefer window seats).

Whatever, I climbed on that berth and just the time when I made myself sit comfortably and started thinking about what to do next, I heard a human horn honking around. God what a start! I had heard and read about train journeys a lot about how interesting and surprisingly unpredictable they are. I wonder what was going to happen in mine.

There was no window to look outside, everyone else was sleeping or yawning , all the lower berths were occupied, so I had no option to sit anywhere except my upper berth. But one thing was good, that is the peaceful atmosphere which is perfect to enjoy a novel or anything which demands silence. I took one out of my handbag and lost myself in it for one or two hours.

As the day wore on, people started with their daily routines. Using the washroom, sipping tea in tiny kulhad, buying breakfasts and newspapers, brushing their teeth and sort of stuff. I was looking for someone of my age whom I can talk to. I found none. There was a family, a big one, sitting in front of me. They were all couples with one sweet little girl. They were hardly even looking at me and were busy in their own discussions.

Though, I had nobody to talk to, yet, I was excited and happy to be out of my confines and that too alone. I felt more at ease and was free from the stress of chores. No projects to be done, no meals to cook, no deadlines to meet, I was free like a bird in the sky. I saw a person listening music and just then the brilliant idea struck me in the middle of all the hustle bustle. I plugged in my ear phones and closed my eyes. This is my one favourite thing to do while travelling. Listening to my favourite numbers over and over again. It helps me in shedding all my inhibitions and pressures and partake of a relaxing nap from which I was brought back by a high-pitched loud voice of a woman. At once, she seemed like shouting and scolding someone, but after paying little bit of attention to her, I came to know she was giving instructions to her husband about how to change the nappy pad of their child and she was doing that irritatingly and was getting frustrated over him. The woman was continuously addressing him with the word- ‘ Yaar’ which I found inappropriate. I mean the man is your better-half, he deserves some level of respect. The hubby was obligated, apparently there was no other option except listening and following whatever she was saying, for his wife was dominant in nature and it was a public place. Poor chap * giggles*. Anyway, none of my business. I am here to ENJOYYYY!!!

I took my lunch and to tell you it seemed royal as compared to the other passengers. They were not carrying lunch and they had to buy it from the railways stations. That food often have hell lot of spices and oil which nobody prefers to eat but is left with no other option. Mine was cooked at home with the right amount of oil and spices in it. There is also something special about being hungry in train and having just the best food packed with you while travelling. Eating in a moving vehicle with strangers all around is kind of a different experience. People offer you their pickles and chutneys and veggies holding the containers tightly flashing a genuine smile on their faces. I opened my box carefully yet excitedly and started eating. Eating on long distance train is an experience one must have because that time you savor each bite of your meal, if you are really hungry. Usually television screens and mobile phones take away the attention. In train, even a simple dish gives a pleasure of a royal feast. Just when I finished my lunch, a series of yawns followed and with the passing time, I slept.

After a few hours, I woke up by my ringing cellular phone. It was my dad, he was enquiring about the distance I had covered and if I had taken my lunch. Just then a beautiful sight captured my attention. I saw the little baby girl sleeping with her mother holding her tightly. I remember this feeling of coziness when someone you love wraps their arms around you and you feel protected and secure. One of the best feelings ever. I wanted to capture that beautiful gesture in my cellphone but couldn’t as the fellow travellers would have caught me. Meanwhile, I enquired about which is the next stop and also tried checking google maps. They told me only one hour is left.

I saw an empty seat below my berth and that is when I finally got down and occupied it without making any delay. I began contemplating when I was looking outside the window, seeing the passing stations and landscapes. My journey was about to be over within an hour, various thoughts were passing through my mind. Till yesterday, I was a girl afraid of travelling alone. It was a big deal for me. My heart was always uncertain and filled with meaningless fears and suspicions about this and for the sort of people you meet on trains.

However, this one step forward of travelling solo have brought this positive change in me; it has helped me in getting rid of those awful notions which I earlier had. It’s not like all my fears are gone at once and all of a sudden I have got a new personality or something. But, yes it has indeed helped me in attaining some sort of courage and patience of going past them. For a girl like me, who has never been out without anyone by her side, doing such thing is no less than a little accomplishment in itself. The best thing about it is that I crossed those psychological barriers of doing things alone and I managed my stuff without anybody’s help. In future, I can consider myself capable of doing this at least. I used to think badly about people before this specially in a country like ours. But, now I have seen it is not the case with everyone and it’s safe to travel alone. Everybody has their own issues to ponder upon and stuff to carry on, no one gives a damn about what you are doing and what you might think about them.

For them, it was just a journey, but for me it was an exploration and a start of many upcoming journeys like this one. Half an hour later, the train came to a halt and I saw the hoarding declared Jodhpur Jn. I disembarked at my destination, and the feeling was wonderful. I was not tired at all, infact, I was feeling like a baby bird who has successfully completed her first flight.

I miss WORK !

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When I was a kid, I never thought that one day the summer vacations would become such a complication. Well, it was a long time ago. Now, I am an educator. Things are reversed. But vacation is a time when both, the teachers and the students are supposed to be joyful and delighted. I wonder what is wrong with me! Why am I not feeling that joy, that ecstatic feeling people have when they can stay late in their beds, they can enjoy their meals whenever they like, have some time to serve their hobbies and interests, the personal grooming sessions etc. I feel my case is opposite to the usual.  I am not enjoying my vacations!

I really feel the urge  to go back to my work. I have been loving it so much that now I feel bored and dull and idle and lazy and what not! Got it..lethargic is the word.  I don’t know why I can’t feel the same elation and essence or the true substance of holidays like others  even when it feels almost unbearable to go out in the heat of the scorching Sun. The thing I want so badly since the vacations have arrived is my work. It’s true that people enjoy work , being active and all that but they still want a vacation. And a vacation as long as a school vacation is always a dream for them and do not enjoying it seems absurd and foolish. People in general hate Mondays, but I love the Mondays, for they inspire me to wake up and get ready for something new. And that makes me wonder, is it just me who do not want to sit at home, read novels, have cups of ice cream, prepare for something upcoming, meet their relatives and friends, plan a picnic or anything like that??

I feel like a stupid. Why can’t I just go and enjoy this free time by watching movies, a bunch of t.v series (lists are overwhelming my mind), prepare for my upcoming exam or read my half-read novels and books. Why I want the same teaching work to keep me as active as I feel on my regular working day. It’s like there is no enthusiasm, no challenge in my everyday life. This feeling is terrific.

 

I wish I could at least take some tuitions, for they would have given me some sort of real activity or at least some peace of mind. Although, there is something which excites me for a minute or two. Likewise normal people, I have also planned a trip and not only planned but also paid to meet my cousins and relatives and not only that, we all are planning to go and travel some exciting part of south India. But, it is still one week away. So, yes for now I am highly BORED!

I am reading novels, doing regular exercise, cooking and trying new recipes, writing posts on my blog, looking for new experiences, talking with my friends, updating my online profiles but all of this is no help because I do these regularly in my working days also. The things I am missing the most are teaching, answering the queries of my students, explaining concepts to them again and again, asking kids to stay silent for like million of times( yeah.. kids can be a real headache sometimes), participating in the creative events of school,  the correction work (sounds boring???  but I love it), eavesdropping to the staff-room gossips(*giggling*),  getting ready early in the morning and driving to school, that wonderful feeling of being alive.

I envy those people who have office almost the whole year and only have a limited time of holidays in their jobs. I wish I could have this option of working from home or something like a part-time job. I know, I am sounding like a fool or some desperate rookie but that is how it is…I am dying to go back to work and I can’t help it.

I know this post is more like a blab and not the one I am supposed to write here, but again I can’t help it. I wanted a place where I can confide the thoughts I am having right now and this seemed a good choice to me. So bear with me and don’t if you don’t want to. You are free to walk away. 😛

 

It doesn’t mean that I don’t need even a day off from work and I love working till the point of exhaustion or so. Certainly all of us need vacations to take rest and do our pending personal tasks and undoubtedly I am also one of them. I also have a long to-do list but still I want this vacation to be shortened. Anyway, the only thought that is putting some sort of life and excitement in me these days is my upcoming trip and the thought of traveling solo in train ..he he ( yes this would be my first time). If all goes well, will write a post about that when I will be back. Till then…Tada..;)